There’s nothing quite like the feel of a Western wedding. Thanks to creative imaginations of couples over the centuries, the traditional wedding has evolved to become almost anything you can imagine. Do you want a fairytale wedding set in a picturesque woods? Or perhaps, you’re looking for something more whimsical- such as a carnival themed wedding at night, surrounded by twinkling lights and fairy floss! Whatever the case may be (traditional or extravagant), there is no doubt that a Western wedding is prepared to make memories and thrill guests along the way.
Let’s dive into some of the ins and outs of a Western wedding to see what it’s all about!
Pre-Wedding
While a Western wedding doesn’t traditionally have as many pre-ceremonies as say, a multicultural wedding does, there is still quite a bit of preparation and celebration that happens before the big day arrives.
Engagement
First and foremost, before all else, an official request of marriage from one individual to another must occur. The way that this formal engagement actually takes place depends purely on the individual couple, as no two experiences are exactly alike! One couple may prefer something simple, with just their significant other and a memorable setting- while another couple may decide to go all out with choreographed dance and song! Neither one is more correct than the other, as the entire purpose of the engagement is for a declaration of love to occur and a wedding date to officially be set.
Traditionally, the groom would ask the bride’s parents for permission before officially asking for her hand. While that is definitely still alive and well today, the expectation isn’t necessarily there anymore. So, couples can decide beforehand whether or not this is something that is important to them or not.
What to Wear:
Most of the time, an engagement is a surprise for the receiving individual. Because of this, the attire will depend entirely on the person making the proposal. Going for a hike to get romantic views? Then anticipate hiking boots and camel packs. Maybe you prefer a romantic dinner? Then elegant attire may be the perfect fit for this event. Just choose what works best for the environment and roll with it!
Engagement Party
For many newly engaged couples, they want to celebrate the exciting news with friends and family! A great way to do this is through an engagement party. This can be done either at a venue (such as a restaurant or park) or at a family home. Gifts, games, and food are typically the main events at these parties and it’s an excellent time for the couple to bond while anticipating their big day. In Western society, most couples already know and are familiar with their partner’s family by the time of engagement, but in the case that they aren’t, the engagement party is a great way to connect with those new family members who have attended!
Either before or after the engagement party, the couple will typically invite members of their closest friends to be part of the wedding party. Depending on the couple, this may just be an excited phone call or a specially crafted gift containing the special invitation.
What to Wear:
The venue location will be one of the biggest factors in what to wear for an engagement party. For those couples who choose to just have a party at home, clothing will most likely be casual and comfortable. Other locations may be formal, fun, or carefree; so just check in with where the party will be taking place and plan accordingly.
Bridal Shower
After the engagement party, the bridal shower takes place. This special event can occur months, weeks, or even just a few days before the wedding (although the last option isn’t as common). Traditionally this event comprises just the bride, her female family members, the groom’s female family members, and the bridesmaids. Together, the ladies will go out to eat at a delicious restaurant or cater food to the bride’s home for all to enjoy. Gifts and games then follow. Sometimes, depending on the group, the gifts will specifically highlight beautiful evening garments or gag gifts.
But, although this may happen from time to time, the bachelorette party seems to be the more fitting place for such exchanges while the bridal shower usually provides the bride with items for her home; such as kitchen appliances, towels, and bedding.
What to Wear:
The bride will have the most say in what attire is chosen for the bridal shower. She may decide it’s best to keep things casual, or she may decide that a casually elegant look is a must! Keep weather and venue location in mind as well (no flip flops to a ski resort, unless you want frozen toes).
Engagement Photo Shoot
Who doesn’t love getting pictures taken with their special someone?! That’s why engagement photos are so special in our book and Western weddings typically take advantage of this tradition. Sometime before the wedding, the engaged couple will be on the hunt for a photographer to help them out with all their photography needs- including the engagement session.
In this photography session, the photographer and couple map out a selection of locations that the couple would like to capture a few treasured photos. Depending on the photographer, the amount of locations and outfit changes may vary, but typically the selection can be super flexible! This is such a great event that allows couples to practice for the wedding day photos, while also capturing images of their engaged period as well.
For those who have additions they want to capture in their photos (such as dogs, kiddos, or hobbies) don’t be shy to ask! These images are meant to capture your life together at this period, so go all out.
What to Wear:
It’s best (if possible) to choose a couple different outfits for an engagement session. This will allow your photographer to work with different locations and poses to create multiple different looks for one session! Doing this will not only add more creative liberty to your photos, but also help you get more bang for your buck as well.
Bachelor Party
The bachelor party is typically a groom’s celebration and showers all in one. Traditionally, this event has consisted of just the groom and his groomsmen hanging out for an evening or weekend doing something the groom enjoys. This may be something as simple as hanging out with some chips, dip, and videogames or a completely over the top extravaganza complete with skydiving and partying the night away!
Regardless of what event is chosen, the bachelor party is intended to celebrate the groom and his friendships before he officially steps out of bachelor status.
What to Wear:
If the party is going to be casual, stick with what is most comfortable. For those fellas who head off on a grand adventure, however, be sure to dress for the occasion. Going backpacking? Throw on those hiking boots and cargo shorts. Heading out for a night on the town? Pick your best cologne and blazer. It all depends on the location, so be flexible and wear what makes you feel most confident!
Bachelorette Party
Just like the bachelor party, the bachelorette party is a celebration of the bride and her friendships. Together with her gals, the bride gets to enjoy an evening or weekend celebrating in her favorite ways. Whether that’s a spa night in with movies and popcorn or a sparkly evening full of dancing and cocktails, there is no doubt that a bachelorette party is much anticipated by all those involved!
What to Wear:
Ladies love any chance they can to dress up, so if heels and a cute dress are your thing, go for it! Whether you’re headed to a night in or a night on the town, a lovely outfit and simple accessories can be fitting for either situation. Just be sure to check what your activities are and whether you need to dress up or down for the event. Heading to a nightclub? Wear something you feel comfy yet gorgeous in! Going to a 5-star restaurant? Don that evening gown and glam up. Just remember to have fun and dress in what makes you feel beautiful!
Wedding
The official day has arrived! And that means many wonderful wedding ceremonies to enjoy. While a traditional Western wedding may not have as many deeply routed religious ceremonies as some cultures, there are still a few unique elements that make their debut depending on the religious preference (or lack thereof) of the couple.
Today, we will be focusing primarily on a nondenominational ceremony as it is a general outline of what most western weddings stick to.
Breakfast and Final Set Up
Typically, at this point in the day, all decorations and chairs should be in place. But, sometimes life happens and there may be a few final details to button up! If that’s the case, before photos are taken and preparation begins, it’s a good idea to arrive at the venue a bit early so that all of the final touches can be taken care of. Some couples may provide breakfast for their wedding party at the venue to enjoy either while getting ready or beforehand!
Pre-photos and Couple Preparation
To begin the wedding day ceremonies, most couples start off by getting pampered and prepared in their individual quarters. Accompanied by their wedding party and family members, the couple will take individual photos first, getting those family portraits and goofy— yet loveable— photos that we all adore.
Once this has been accomplished, some couples may opt for a “first look”, which is when the two see each other for the first time and their reactions are caught on camera. Traditionally, this wasn’t a practice that was commonly performed, as the first look was reserved for when the bride came gliding down the aisle. Nowadays, however, many couples have decided to make traditions of their own and spend a few intimate moments together before the ceremony while taking in their big day.
To learn more about the First Look, you can check out our feature article on the subject!
Ceremony
Setup has been completed. Group photos have been taken. And the couple are ready for their big debut! Unlike multicultural weddings who tend to have a particular wedding ceremony location, a Western wedding can happen pretty much anywhere. From the forest to the beach, churches to gazebos, the options are limitless.
What to Wear:
Traditional: In the past, the bride wore a white gown and veil while the groom wore a crisp black or white tuxedo and bow tie/tie. Bridesmaids all matched in the bride’s preferred color and style while the Groomsmen matched the groom’s attire to a tee. Although elegant and classic, not many couples still follow these traditions today.
Contemporary: A more modern style is for the bride to still wear a white gown, but alternative colors are available—such as cream, blush, off-white, black, silver, lavender, etc. A veil is still a popular accessory, but alternatives such as flower crowns, half crowns, and hair pins (for a few examples) have taken the stage. For the groom, tuxedos are still worn from time to time, but now more casual options can be chosen, such as suites with or without jackets and suspendered dress pants have become all the rage.
For the bridal party, it is now more popular to go with a color scheme while allowing the girls to pick their own dress styles. This is quite the tradition alteration (for the better) as it allows the bridesmaids to wear something that flatters their particular skin tone and body shape—not to mention their budgets! Groomsmen still follow a similar pattern to the groom’s attire, however, it is more normalized for them to look different—allowing the groom to stand out with his own particular tie color and specialized boutonniere arrangement.
Guest Arrival
As guests arrive at the venue, there are two common ways for them to be seated. The more traditional way is for an assigned usher (typically a cousin or friend) to guide the guests to their preferred seats based on who they are there to support—with the bride’s family on the left and the groom’s family on the right. Nowadays, it’s more common for the couple to have a sign requesting the guests to sit wherever they’d like! This is a great way to create a unified atmosphere. Which is extremely important considering these are two families who are now being brought together as one.
Processional
Once all the guests have found their seats, a change of music may indicate the official arrival of the family. It is usually the groom that escorts each family member to their seats—starting with the grandparents and moving on to the parents.
Traditionally, as mentioned above, the family are seated on the perspective sides of the bride and groom.
A more modern way of doing this is to have the families sit on alternate sides. This way, the bride’s family can actually see her face instead of the back of her head, and the same goes for the groom!
Groom Placement
As the groom finishes getting the last family member settled, it is time for him to take place up front with the officiary. Typically on the right side, he will await (rather impatiently) for the beautiful bride to arrive. But there are a few other ceremonies that typically take place before she heads down the aisle!
Flower Girl/Ring Bearer
One of the cutest ceremonies to take place in a Western wedding is that of the flower girl and ring bearer. Usually young members of the couple’s family, these sweet kiddos have very important jobs on the wedding day! The flower girl may be just one little lady, or a few, and as they walk down the aisle they sprinkle flower petals to decorate the path for the bride. As flowers are thrown, a young boy (traditionally) will trail behind holding a box or pillow with the rings safely tucked inside. As they reach the front, the flower girl will go to the bride’s side, while the ring bearer hands over the rings to the Best Man before taking his place with the rest of the guys on the groom’s side.
Bride Entrance
The big moment has finally arrived. One more change of music takes place and everyone in attendance knows that the bride is on her way. Traditionally, the guests would pay attention to the bride’s mother to see whether she would stand or not. If the mother stood, so would everyone else. While this can still be a tradition today, most times it will be the bride who decides whether she wants the guests to stand or remain seated, and will let them know in advance.
As she walks down the aisle, there is no doubt that there will be a few tears shed (both by the couple and the family) as the moment everyone has been waiting for officially begins. Upon reaching the groom, the bride will hand off her bouquet of flowers to her Maid of Honor before turning her attention to her groom. This allows her hands to be free for holding, placing the rings, and reading vows without having to juggle flowers.
Words of Welcome
The couple are now ready and waiting with bated breath in front of the loved ones. Before proceeding with the rest of the ceremony, the officiant may offer a few words of welcome to the guests and an explanation of how they know the couple. It may be a close friend who received the correct certification or a pastor from a family church who knew one, or both, of the individuals long before they decided to make this big decision.
Blessing/Official Marriage
This part of the ceremony will vary from couple to couple. Some may prefer a longer speech that holds words of wisdom (or religious blessings) while others may desire something short and sweet. Whatever the case may be, this part of the ceremony is where the officiant will set up the couple to exchange their official vows to one another.
Exchange Vows
Vows are extremely special, as they are spoken promises from the couple to their partner. As can be imagined, some write longer vows than others, and some couples may even vouch to stick with the traditional “until death do us part” verbiage that has been around for centuries. Regardless of the words that are chosen, the enhancing of vows is a chance for the couple to have a voice in their marriage and solidify their love for each other in front of the witnesses gathered.
Ring Exchange
During this ceremony, the couple will be handed their rings (typically from the Best Man) and proceed to the ring exchange.There is no order as to whether the bride or groom goes first, it either happens naturally or is discussed prior to the wedding.
Unity Ceremony
While traditionally tied to religion, many new forms of the unity ceremony have cropped up over the years that simply represent the joining of two lives. A few examples of a unity ceremony can include pouring two different colored sands into one jar, lighting one candle with two smaller candles, or braiding cords together. This ceremony is a very sweet way to provide a visualization of two lives becoming one, and is frequently paired with a special music provided by a family member, friend, or band.
Presentation of the Couple
After the rings have been exchanged, the vows have been read, and the unity ceremony is complete, the only real thing left to do is seal the deal! During this ceremony, the officiant may go through the traditional questioning of the couple with the phrase “do you take (bride/groom name) to be your lawfully wedded (husband/wife/partner)?” at which point the questioned individual answers with “I do”. Once each individual has answered, they are pronounced a married couple and encouraged to kiss! They are now a legally joined pair.
Recessional
A swell of new music fills the area as the newlyweds hold hands and depart from the venue. Flowers may be thrown into the air or the crowd may simply applaud in congratulations! Whatever the case may be, it is certainly a joyous moment. From here, everyone in attendance will either be directed to head to photos or to the reception area to await the couple.
Group Photos
The amount of time spent on this portion of the wedding day will vary greatly depending on how many photos were taken prior to the ceremony starting. If all the family photos, wedding party photos, and couple photos are being taken it may take quite a bit for the wedding party to arrive at their reception! That’s why it’s a great idea to take as many photos beforehand, so that the end group photos consist mostly of couple shots both alone and with their families.
Reception
One of the most anticipated moments of the Western wedding day is the reception. It is during this event that people get to eat food, mingle, enjoy cake and other sweet, all while celebrating the couple! Depending on the couple, dancing may be available as well as cute activities such as a photo booth, couples guessing games, and goodie bags.
During the reception, the couple typically sit at a large table surrounded by their wedding party, or at a smaller table featuring just the two of them. Sprinkled throughout the evening there will be a few other features that are classic to a Western wedding.
The Garter Removal
This event is when the groom approaches the bride sitting on a chair. He then cheekily goes under her large dress to remove the garter on her leg! Not all couples follow this tradition, but it can be a fun one for those who like to have a little chuckle.
The Garter Toss
Traditionally, once the garter is removed, all the eligible young men line up in front of the groom who will then toss the garter into the air towards them. Whoever is lucky enough to catch it is the next bachelor to get married!
The Bouquet Toss
Similar to the garter toss, this tradition is when all the single ladies gather in front of the bride to see who will be the next to get married. As the bride turns her back on the ladies, she will toss her bouquet over head to see who will be quick enough to catch it!
Cake Cutting
Once it’s time for cake, the couple will head over to the dessert table. Some couples may opt out of the traditional wedding cake for something they prefer more, like pies or cupcakes. Whatever the case may be, traditionally, the couple will feed each other the first bite, before then offering up the treats to everyone else.
Gifts
A gift and card table will typically be present at the reception so that guests can leave any congratulatory gifts for the couple. Typically, these gifts are then transported to the couple’s home (or a family member’s home) to be opened later. Some couples may choose, however, to break this tradition and open their gifts at the reception so that they can publicly thank whoever sent them. This is something that hugely varies on each couple’s comfort level and the size of the wedding. Many gifts would take too long to open, so don’t feel bad if it isn’t something you can do at the reception site!
Departure
After everyone has been partied out and the couple are ready to leave, everyone heads outside to send them off. Western weddings really vary on this method, but a few examples would be for the guests to make two rows on either side of the exit and throw flower petals or blow bubbles on the couple as they leave the building. Another popular option is to light sparklers and make a tunnel of light as the couple leaves! These all make for wonderful photo opportunities and a fun way to send the newlyweds off on their life together.
Honeymoon
The final event of the Western wedding is the honeymoon. This is something that most, if not all, couples do eventually, although most leave to enjoy their vacation right after the wedding has ended. Going away on a little trip as a new couple is such an important step as it helps to create a non stressful environment where the couple can decompress, enjoy time together, and bond before heading back into the real world as newlyweds.
“Marriage is like watching the color of leaves in the fall; ever changing and more stunningly beautiful with each passing day.”
– Fawn Weaver