The Beauty of Syrian Weddings

When it comes to weddings (especially within the Western culture) it seems to be that bigger is best. However, this isn’t always true! 

Sometimes the beauty is found in the small details and gestures of a wedding day and the planning that goes into it. Of course, this isn't to say that grand weddings aren’t wonderful as well, because they certainly are. 

But in this article, we are focusing on the little details of the traditional Syrian wedding and all that it has to offer. While many Syrian couples choose to follow the theme of Western weddings, there are a few who decide to go the route their grandparents did and stick with a more traditional approach.

To begin, let’s take a look at each ceremony that makes up a traditional Syrian wedding and what makes them special both individually and as a whole. 

Express Interest

Similar to how most other cultures begin the journey of a bride and groom, the couple must first express interest in one another. However, in Syrian culture, things vary slightly as the interest is typically expressed to the family before it is expressed to the individual. For example, should a man be interested in a woman, he will let his mother know that he’d like to get to know this woman a little bit better. From there, the mother is in charge of following through on the next steps towards engagement. 

Mother’s Call 

Once the man’s mother has received information from her son regarding his interest in a particular lady, she will call the woman’s mother to set up a series of meetings. After a brief chat on the phone, the first meeting will be set up between the two mothers. This is the first step towards the family getting to know each other better. 

First Meeting

During this first initial meeting, it is only the man’s mother and sisters (if he has any) that will go to the woman’s home. When they arrive, the man’s family will be welcomed by the woman’s mother and sisters and ushered into the house for some coffee. 

Upon entering the home, the man’s mother will immediately survey the home and the guest room where they are led for the visit. She will pay attention to little details, such as how the home smells and how tidy things are kept. All this is important to her as it will determine what type of woman her son may be interested in. 

Luckily, the mystery of who this lady is won’t last for long as it is the lady of interest’s job to serve coffee to the visitors in the guest room. During this meeting, she will be without her Hijab (as only women are present) and she will be wearing light makeup. This will allow for the man’s mother to get a good look at the potential bride, and over coffee, the mother will ask a few questions to better get to know the woman. Overall, this meeting will only last about 30 minutes in total.

Second Meeting

Should the first meeting go well, the two mothers will decide on a date and time for the second meeting. It is during this meeting that the men of the households, along with both the potential bride and groom, will all join together for the first time. Once again, the man’s family will be invited over to the woman’s home and this time, he’ll have his mother, father, and brothers (if any) join him. 

Upon entering the guest room, everyone will take a seat and visit for a while. When the lady of interest enters the room bearing coffee, she will begin to serve each individual, starting with the person sitting on the right side of the room. This time, she will be wearing her Hijab and slightly more elaborate makeup. 

After she has finished serving the guests, the lady may sit next to the man and chat. This encounter is the perfect setting for both the interested pair and their families to get to know one another. Considering the first meeting went well, and if everyone still approves at the end of the second meeting, an official engagement date can be set!  

Official Engagement/Court Registration (Jaha)

Now that the families have agreed upon the match, the couple can move on to getting officially registered for marriage at the court. During this event, the bride and groom will head to the court with a group of men typically consisting of the brothers, fathers, grandfathers, and uncles of both sides. No women aside from the bride attend this particular ceremony, which is known as the Jaha. 

At the courthouse, the engagement and marriage registration will be witnessed by the men of the family and everyone will celebrate with a serving of delicious milk pudding and coffee at the time of the marriage announcement. It is then time to leave the courthouse and head to the bride’s family home, where the groom will finally see his partner without her hijab and get to spend quality time with his new family! 

Officially, the two are now married by the court, however, a wedding ceremony is never something that should be skipped! Because of this, while the family visits, the bride and groom can decide on the perfect date for their wedding ceremony. Typically this is based on how much time the groom needs to save up money for the event and what the schedule of the couple’s jobs may look like. 

Preparation

Unlike in Western culture, the bride does very little to prepare for the wedding day events. Instead, it is the groom who will plan the event, schedule the wedding halls, and organize the finances needed to take care of everything the bride requires; this includes her entire wardrobe and glam session from top to bottom! Sometimes the bride will help out in choosing certain elements, such as the design for invitations and perhaps the decorations that will be present at the event, but in most Syrian weddings the groom will take care of making sure every detail is planned perfectly. 

Preparation for the official wedding ceremony typically takes place about two months before the set date. This is important as the groom needs to find not one, but two, wedding halls for the event! On top of this, invitations need to be sent out and the bride needs time to gather everything she might desire for the wedding day. Such as her dress and who will do her hair, makeup, and henna. 

One week before the wedding, Syrian families begin to celebrate through lots of good food and laughs enjoyed together. Tradition calls for the groom to not see his bride at least 3 days before the wedding, so typically, they don’t spend this celebratory time together. But that’s ok as it simply builds up the suspense for the big day!

Wedding Day

At the start of the wedding day, the groom will be surrounded by traditional music as he anxiously awaits the event he’s spent so much time planning for. As the music swells, the luxuriously dressed members of a special band will pull out traditional Damascene swords and begin to perform a choreographed sword fight. This is in the representation of traditional Syrian times where the groom’s strength and bravery were shown through sword skills. 

Traditionally, Syrian weddings begin in the evening. So when the clock strikes 5 pm, the groom’s friends arrive at his home and take him to a special wedding day bath. This is when he can spend time with friends and relax with good food and drink as he prepares for the upcoming ceremony! At this time, the bride herself would also be surrounded by her mother and sisters as she prepares for the wedding day. Henna will be applied to decorate her hands and arms in intricate designs so she can feel beautiful and complete in her wedding attire.

Mouled

Once the groom is properly dressed and pampered, his friends will escort him back to his family home where family and friends welcome them with happy songs and the beating of drums. This event is called mouled and it is a ceremony where religious chanting is performed as the groom ceremoniously changes out of his bachelor clothes and into his wedding suit (in a discreet place of course). More swordplay is had before the band finally escorts the groom from his home and out into the night, towards the wedding halls. The bride will already be waiting in her wedding hall, celebrating with her friends and female family members with music and belly dancing. 

Hall one

In a traditional Syrian wedding, the men and women are always separated. The first wedding hall would be for the men and the groom would be carried into the hall surrounded by music and celebration on the shoulders of his friends and brothers. Many songs and dances will be held in celebration of the groom and his new accomplishment in life and once the men have had their fill of music, the groom will be escorted to the female wedding hall to retrieve his bride. Only the father or brother (not both) of the groom can escort him into the hall and all the women will be warned that the men are coming ahead of time. This way, they will have plenty of time to put their hijabs on before the men enter the hall.

Hall two

In the second wedding hall, the bride’s female friends and family members will be having a party of their own. Complete with traditional music and belly dancing, it is a place of warmth and companionship. When it’s time to bring the bride to the wedding hall, two or three of the females from the groom’s side of the family will take an elaborately decorated car to pick her up at her family home. Once she arrives at the wedding hall, all the females will stand in greeting as special music is played to her walking down the aisle. She will take a seat at the end, usually in a pair of beautifully decorated chairs- one for her and one for her husband- and make sure she covers her face with her veil. 

As the groom arrives, the bride will rise from her seat and walk down the aisle to meet her groom. He will then reach out and remove the veil, allowing him to see her face for the very first time on their special day! As can be imagined, this is a very heart-touching moment. Music is then played once more as the bride and groom walk back down the aisle towards their seats, where they then sit to enjoy the rest of the evening. 

The Bride’s Gift

Around 30 minutes after the groom has arrived at the bride’s wedding hall, he will pull out a beautifully decorated gift box. Inside will be a lovely gold jewelry set which he will then place onto his bride in a show of love and affection for their union. To celebrate the close of the wedding celebrations, everyone will be served a dessert of delicious milk pudding, cookies, and a fruit juice of some kind. Lastly, photos will be taken with the bride, groom, and the family in attendance before the official wedding ceremony comes to a close. 

Car Ride

As we know, it’s just not right to end a wedding day without a thrilling send-off! And the same goes for a traditional Syrian wedding. Instead of sparklers or birdseed though, the couple will get into their beautifully decorated car and drive around the city while honking their horn. This may be annoying to some people who are fast asleep, but there is no doubt that it’s great fun for the new couple as they head off on their lifelong journey together! 

Mubarake

Instead of a reception, traditional Syrian wedding culture typically holds a congratulatory party known as the mubarak one week after the official wedding celebration. During this event, people who were unable to attend the wedding can come and offer congratulations and gifts to the couple. It’s an excellent way to carry on the fun and excitement of a new marriage just a little bit longer!

Happily Ever After

It’s easy to see why some Syrian couples would want to keep these beautiful traditions alive. Full of family, good music, and beauty, a traditional Syrian wedding is certainly a memorable event. If you are looking to capture memories from your own upcoming wedding, be sure to let us know. We’d love to help you create moments that will last a lifetime!