Wedding during COVID-19

Through all cultures and religions one shared tradition stands as a common pillar of life: The wedding, a celebration of love, unions of families, and the beginning of a new life adventure. 

Weddings are the accumulation of years of searching for true love and months of planning how to fulfill this love in the bond of marriage. Before giving the ultimate answer at the altar every couple must thus pass one final litmus test by preparing and organizing this most important party of parties. 

What happens to all that blood, sweat and tears now that the COVID-19 – aka the coronavirus – is sowing uncertainty around the country? Can you do that and still hold a wedding?

Postpone if you can

My advice will above all be to postpone your full wedding or only hold the ceremony and reschedule the reception if you can. We realize for some couples this option does not come without high costs - practical, emotional and even more so financial. Many of our couple have worked so hard, saved for months and even taken on large loans in order to celebrate their love with family and friends. 

Surely, these people are asking: Do we absolutely have to postpone? Unfortunately, I cannot answer that for you. I can however give you some suggestions on how to hold a modified wedding during this health crisis. First and foremost is the necessity to understand you are most likely not going to have the same wedding you have been dreaming and planning for. 

The second thing to keep in mind is that whatever you do, you cannot eliminate the risk of guests or yourselves being infected with the coronavirus, however with careful preparation and precautions you can minimize it as much as possible.

Guest – who to invite in times of coronavirus? 

As of the 15th of march the CDC advises Americans to avoid gatherings of more than 50 people. This has now been decreased even further to gatherings of 10 or less people. For every extra person attending the risk of contagion goes up by a multiple factor. So how do you go about shortening this list that is no doubt already cut to the most essential of friends and family? 

First and foremost, by asking who is at most risk? According to the CDC and a professor in epidemiology Michael Osterholm this is: 

• The elderly 

• People with heart disease 

• Diabetes patients 

• Those who suffer from lung diseases 

• People with obesity 

• Women late in their late pregnancies 

On top of that small children are also considered an extra risk factor for the most vulnerable. They can carry the virus without showing symptoms and thereby pass it along to others. Small children will also have difficulties with obeying to the rules of social distancing. More on that below. 

The next thing to consider is those who need to travel by plane, train, bus, or other forms of public transit. Many of these forms of transport may close soon if not already restricted to essential travel. These guests should be contacted and asked to stay home for their own safety. None of this will be easy, but it’s all about protecting families and friends from being infected or spreading the virus to other more vulnerable loved ones. I have no doubt your guests will not only be understanding but also glad you’re thinking of them and allowing them to stay home.

How to minimize the spread of COVID-19 at a wedding

“Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands”. This seems to be the mantra on everyone’s mind these days. As it should. This is the first step in preventing the virus from spreading. So, keep plenty of hand sanitizers around at your wedding and make sure there is access to running water and soap. 

Social distancing seems to be the buzz word advocated by health officials. It basically means keeping a fair distance from people, since the coronavirus spreads through the small bubbles of saliva that comes out into the air, when a person coughs, sneezes or even when talking. The CDC recommends at least 6 feet of distance, this is believed to be far enough to allow those bubbles to drop to the earth and not be inhaled by others. So what does that look like?

Avoiding physical contact: no handshakes, hugs, or kissing. During the ceremony all the guests should sit with their immediate household and be standing or sitting within at least six feet from each other. Outdoor venues at this time would be the highest recommendation for this type of spacing to be possible.

Having fun while social distancing at a wedding

Some fun alternatives to meet, greet, and communicate with each other can be a fun game for your guests. Exaggerated bowing for the newlyweds as if they were royal, made up sign language, or even writing quick little notes on dry erase boards. 

The shoe game is a great way to have fun with guests requiring no contact. Allow each guest to shout out a question. Another idea is to create a scavenger hunt for guests. Teams can be made up of immediate households and send them on their way to discover little things about you as a couple they may not have known or about how each of them has influenced your lives, charades is another tried and true game. 

It’s all about using your imagination, google is also a great resource check out this link I came across:  http://www.partygamespond.com/tag/no-physical-contact/

I’ll address the question about face masks here to let you know this is really not recommended due to the severe short supplies. Hospitals and healthcare workers all over the world are in desperate need of masks. So I will not encourage you to buy masks for yourself or guests.

The value of sharing your wedding photos 

The shortened guest list leaves you with a smaller wedding, and there’s no doubt that you expected to share this joyous occasion with families and friends in person. Photos and videos can be a way to still have some essence of that. 

A professional photographer will ensure that all of your unique moments on this marvelous day forever will be saved just as you remember them. Quality images to be shared with family now and enjoyed for many years from now.  Images to share with your friends and family that could not be there for the wedding or ceremony. Images to take you back to your wedding as if it was yesterday no matter how long ago it took place. 

Speak with your photographer about options they are offering at this time. Personally we’re again recommending postponement of the entire wedding. In cases where that is just not an option speak with your photographer about: print credits towards albums, wall art, gift albums or other printed services they may offer. For those with two photographers, ask if yours offers video and would be willing to do both as the wedding party and events will likely be cut short. For those who are really wanting to go through with the ceremony, an elopement style wedding in an open nature setting with just the two of you would be recommended again asking about print credits to make up for the shorter hours of coverage.

If you’re able to postpone your wedding date, check that your photographer is still free that day and if not what other options they are providing to their clients. Personally here at Santiago Almada Photography we are extremely happy to say we’ve been able to accommodate all rescheduling requests for our couples. Upon availability we are also able to offer video in addition to photography for our couples opting to have a shorter ceremony over postponing their big day. This video will be edited and available via an online link to be shared with all friends and family.

Contact your vendor 

No doubt some changes have already been discussed with your vendors and modifications have been made. If not it is always better to start now even if your wedding is not within the next few weeks.  Communication with all your vendors is key in trying to maximize options and minimize losses.

Finding another location

Regarding the venue, if they haven’t cancelled on you already there is a likely risk that they soon will while COVID-19 is deemed a national emergency. Therefore, you may need to find an alternative venue, be sure to speak with your venue about alternatives if they are closing for the time being. Our top suggestions would be something outdoors, a close family or friends back yard, a public park that’s not closed, somewhere open with fresh air.  For those that might opt to just do the ceremony eloping to a near-by hike or treasured location should be considered.

Keep everything clean 

Wherever your wedding ends up being held be sure to give every surface, chair, tables, piece of metal, wood, etc a thorough cleaning before and after the wedding. If you are still able to host in a venue they will more than likely already be planning for this. Having a team cleaning surfaces, door knobs and the like during the party is also not a terrible idea.

What about food? 

Food is another big ticket item surrounding weddings. This is such a fundamental part of all social events. If you were already planning a sit down dinner this is probably still an acceptable way to go just be mindful not to have any self serve breads, candies, drinks etc on the tables. Some other options might be:

• A staffed buffet, where the guest will be served by a staff member

• Food trucks 

• Not serving any meals at all, especially if opting to elope and have the reception later

Again be sure to speak with your vendor to see what other ideas and options they are offering to clients. 

Keep your guests posted 

Whatever modifications you make for your wedding day, keep it your own and have fun with it, don’t forget to also update your guests on any changes. 

Whatever changes you make to your wedding, be it a smaller guest list, shortened program, only doing the ceremony, changing your venue or less glamour, we are with all our couples in feeling your disappointment. We hope your day of days will be no less magical and filled with love.

Disclaimer: This article is not a recommendation that you by all means should hold the wedding. It’s a list of suggestions for those, who for some reason or another choose not to postpone. Likewise, this article must neither be regarded as a complete guide, legal advise, or as suggestions of a professional healthcare worker. I’m a wedding photographer, and what’s suggested above is based on my years of experience in this field combined with what certified expert sources are saying about the coronavirus. I highly recommend that you consult a doctor for more thorough advice. I will make it clear, that if you decide to continue with your wedding, and some of the party unfortunately becomes ill, I cannot be held responsible for anything. The burden of this decision falls solely on you and your partner.